Last night was the first night that I truly felt homesick since I moved here a month ago. I don’t know if it’s because the day felt unusually long and monotonous or because the feelings have finally caught up with the time passed. I couldn’t really pinpoint the particular reason for the tears and I guess I don’t really need to understand why. I think I was trying to figure out a reason because I had been doing so well, staying strong during a difficult transitional period. That’s what this has been since March when we made the decision to move here…a transitional period. I hate referring to it as that but that’s how I feel. It makes me feel better because transitional really means temporary and I know I will feel settled at some point. But I’m not yet. I guess I am just missing my family and friends and routine. I miss our neighbors, our house, our yard, our garden, our grill, our patio, just EVERYTHING that made me feel I was at home. After about 10 minutes of tears I fell asleep and woke up deciding that I wasn’t going to feel sorry for myself today. NOT TODAY! As I have said before, I am not naive enough to think I am the only person who has ever made a big move to a new city leaving everything comfortable and familiar behind.
The good news is TODAY WAS A BETTER DAY!
Maybe it was because I made the conscious effort to MAKE it a good day. After 30 years of life I finally understand the psychology and research behind making your own happiness. This is something my Mom has been preaching to me my whole life. It all made sense when I read The Secret years ago. Why is it so hard to put into practice during the hard times?! Because the truth is, not every day is going to be good or happy or effortless. We all go through struggles and trials and tribulations of varying degrees. Life isn’t easy and it isn’t supposed to be. So, I continue to remember that life is what you make it and I can either be sad and irritable for what I don’t have and what I’m missing or I can accept these trials knowing that it will get better over time and slowly, but surely, I will feel like Atlanta is home.
A few simple things that helped make my day a good one: Prayer, Good Morning America, exercise, starting a new book, sun (2 1/2 hrs worth of pool time), random texts with friends and family, making a good dinner, and looking forward to future plans (Mom and sister are visiting in 3 weeks). I almost forgot I have 2 episodes of Real Houswives of NY to catch up on tonight. It really is the small things we need to appreciate.
It helps having a supportive husband and David is there for me every step of the way. He makes me laugh all of the time and that’s something to be grateful for. He is there for me even when he may not be able to fully understand what I’m going through. That’s love.
I’m not sure why I felt compelled to share this, but I just did. This wouldn’t be an honest blog to only paint things in a perfect light. That’s not the way things are and that’s not me. I’ve never done well with hiding my feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I would totally rather write about Pinterest recipes and awesome restaurants, but this is my therapy for right now.
Thank you to those reading for allowing me to share these thoughts. I’m sure I will look back at this someday and laugh because everyone knows you only remember the good and forget all of the bad.